A Usual Monday Morning
CREAK “AH” I wake up to see a blinding face right above me I sigh realising that it is just mum. I ask her what the creaking noise was and she said it was just the door. I rip the blankets off and jump out of my bouncy bed. I sprint out to the scorching hot fire. Nikau wakes up and gets ready way before me because he wanted to be the first ready so mum thinks I was the one that made her late for work.
Mum tells me to put my school clothes on as well as establish what I will have for breakfast. I bellow out to mum that “I don’t want breakfast”. Mum Yells back “you have to have breakfast because you have gymnastics tonight”. “Fine I say but I’m only having a muesli bar because I'm not hungry”. I quickly gobble up my muesli bar then brush my teeth. Once I have finished brushing my teeth I realise what the weather is like “it's appalling” I squawk. Mum suddenly attacks me with the hairbrush that is as spiky as a crocodile’s back. I just endure the pain after my mum has done my hair and put my sparkly scrunchie in then nikau comes speeding through the lounge and tackles me. Now I feel dizzy.
Mum yells out to me “put your stuff in the car were going in a minute” “ok” I yell back “I will get the dog in the car”. Mum hops in the car BEEP BEEP BEEP we reverse out the driveway VROOM we speed off to school like a cheetah. When we get to school I say goodbye to mum and give her a kiss. I wave to mum as she speeds away into the distance.
A usual Monday morning
By Mia
Year 5 student
Well done, Mia. I like how much thought you put into this. A very cool piece.
ReplyDeleteHI Mia, Your writing is awesome. especially the 3rd paragraph. Has Nikau actually tackled you before though?
ReplyDeleteHi my name is Ofa and i attend Waikowhai Primary School.I really liked how you used good descriptive words.I also liked how you described every single bit of your morning.I think you really hooked the readers in.If you would like to come visit my blog here is the site http://wpsofat.blogspot.co.nz/
ReplyDeleteKia Ora Mia!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story and loved the way you started it and I also liked the describing words you used.
There might be some places you could put some full stops. This reminds me of Monday mornings in my house!
Great job on your story from Ella @ Grey Main School.
Hi Mia. This is a very expressive and descriptive piece of writing. I especially like how you have described me as "attacking" you with the hairbrush. You have definitely hooked the reader in. Perhaps I need to wake you up earlier so our mornings are not quite so frantic.
ReplyDeleteHi MIA
ReplyDeleteThis is quite a funny story like your mum i like the attacking you with your hair brush.
To be BTB when your yelling to mum you could put it in cap's?
Hi Mia
ReplyDeleteI love this piece of writing. I like the description and also the funny bits. I like how you did the sound affects like CREACK. Great expression.
From Kate